Broken

as of saturday. We are filing for divorce, so we are splitting up all of our "assets" and I am getting a job, and finding a new apartment, and basically starting over. Which is awesome in the holy shit I can't quit crying kinda way.

Happy mothers day to me huh? Not to mention conner's 1st birthday and Justin's 3rd. Oh the then in sept. mine. Right after what was our 6th year wedding anniversary.

But hey at least it will fuck up fathers day for him too... Oh wait he still gets to do the 4x4 meet &greet camping trip with the boys that I always loved go on. So just mothers day then.

Holy crap. He thinks that this will make us better. That we have been not happy for a long time. Funny thing... I was happy. He got home and I was happy. I got to wrap up in his arms and I was happy. But again just me I guess.

Now I am not happy, now my children with come from a broken home. And I wont see them all the time. And I will have to miss Christmas some years and Easter others.

And I won't have any arms wrapped around me. I'll sleep in a empty bed. With..... Emptiness.

But I am sure that once you get this low you eventually start going up.

And we will always have Hawaii.